You remember the guy who was busted for practising dentistry illegally in his basement? It set off a whole round of discussion about dental care and the inability of some people to be able to pay to have their teeth repaired and maintained, not to mention this guy's qualifications and the conditions of his office: was his wife washing instruments in the dishwasher upstairs? Now, all of a sudden, we have revelations about other "professionals" practising their trade in unconventional locations.
To wit: 1) Police uncovered and arrested a man performing plastic surgery in a root cellar, using canned peaches for breast implants. He had also fashioned a liposuction machine from an old vacuum cleaner. Neighbours reported their dogs coming home with a yellow substance on their faces and hearing quite a bit of screaming. Our surgeon was not using anesthetic and was dumping fat into an open pit in the backyard. 2) Another man, with dreams of becoming an obstetrician, was offering to deliver babies in his camper van, which he would drive to the expectant mom's home and park in her driveway. Once again it was the screaming that alerted the neighbours and the presence of placental tissue in the curbside garbage.
3) A man claiming to be a dermatologist was found offering treatment for everything from acne to athletes' foot in the washroom of a bus depot in Vancouver, mostly to young people, it seems, and of course, bus passengers who obviously couldn't afford a legitimate skin specialist.
4) Not all of these cases involved medical care.
Cops found one person practising law from an abandoned kiosk in a local mall, offering cut rate divorces, wills, pre-nups, and civil suits resulting from car accidents, falls on slippery mall floors, and malpractice cases against flea market tattoo artists.
5) In another case, a man claiming to be a "healer" was treating people in the back of his station wagon by placing his hands on affected areas of their bodies and claiming to cure cancer, heart disease, and any number of STDs.
He even had one of those "ifthis-van's-rockin'-don't-botherknockin'" bumper stickers on the back of his car, and "healer for hire" printed on the side door.
6) Several overzealous police officers busted a group of seniors practising tai chi in a local park, claiming they thought it some type of ritualistic "witch boogie," according to one officer who was promptly struck with a long pole one of the seniors was using during their routine.
7) The list wouldn't be complete without the postal worker arrested for posing as a gynecologist and preying on women on his mail route for the express purpose of fondling them, ostensibly to check for breast lumps and asymmetrical gluteal muscle development.
8) Or the alleged film producer and director running ads in the local paper for aspiring female actors - no experience - to star in independent low-budget films with the promise they would be seen by agents who would promote their careers. Some of the auditions (nudge-nudge, wink-wink) involved nude scenes and before you could say "T&A" your Aunt Milly was appearing in a porn film on the Internet.
9) Unscrupulous real estate agents have been selling houses unbeknownst to the homeowner, based solely on a cursory examination of the outside of the house and some surreptitious peeping through ground floor windows. Many of the sales were to new homeowners and immigrants unaware of the rules governing sales. They would pay cash and be given an occupancy date, after which they would never see the realtor again.
10) A man impersonating Maple Ridge mayor Ernie Daykin has been going door-to-door raising funds for the next election. When questioned about his identity Fakin' Daykin threatened to build a halfway house for sex offenders in their neighbourhood.
11) Then there's the retired postal worker claiming to be a writer...!
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