We are a week into summer now, and while you may be expressing some healthy skepticism about the advent of the season, I'd like to reassure you with Yours Truly's Signs of Summer:
1) The rain is warm: unlike the spring or fall varieties, summer's precipitation is tepid; and if you're of a mind to sit out in the rain or work or exercise outdoors, it can be very pleasant to the touch, and ladies, it's good for your hair.
2) The grass, the lawn, that annoying green stuff in your yard that demands to be cut, visibly grows before your eyes. You get down there and look, and you can see those little blades stretching out for sun and rain. If you're as enthusiastic about yard maintenance as I am, your place is starting to look like a jungle.
3) Slugs are everywhere, especially near those places where they might find food, such as my compost pail. Drop a piece of potato or a leaf of lettuce, and the slimy little buggers are on it in less time than it takes to. well, our slippery little friends aren't known for their speed, just for their disgusting leech-like appearance.
4) Everyone is getting their boat in the water, especially those folks in flood-prone areas who have to rescue their cat off the roof of the trailer that is floating down the street, or grandpa and grandma who fell asleep on the porch after lunch.
5) Convertibles are the order of the day when the sun makes its appearance, as aging boomers, desperately clinging to their youth, put the top down, turn up the oldies on the radio, and try to impress members of the opposite sex.
6) T and A does not mean temperature and atmospheric pressure; it is what the driver in #5 is looking for at this time of the year when the younger gals put on their summer uniform - denim shorts or mini-skirt and a tight top.
7) Festivals and other local celebratory events usually involving the use of the BBQ: another ubiquitous sign of summer. Last weekend, Andrew and I went to two such functions, and at both there was a "Bouncy Castle," another summer fixture and a great source of delight for children meeting the physical requirements who are willing to risk throwing up their hot dog.
8) Increased activity at the gym is a sure sign that hot weather is just around the corner and you are faced with the daunting challenge of squeezing your pallid, pudgy frame into last year's swim suit before you hit the beach.
9) Besides the cutting of the grass, there are innumerable other things to do about the house, and that is why we see normally sane men strapping on the tool belt and starting up one or more power tools with which a healthy percentage of us are bound to cause injury to ourselves and others.
10) But first, having decided to repair the sundeck or build a shed for the lawnmower, we rush off to "The Builders" with all the other DIYers while we pick out our lumber, plywood, nails, and paint and head off home, proud and full of confidence in our ability, until such time as we give up and call in a professional.
11) And not to be forgotten, our friend the mosquito makes his appearance and sends us all into a frenzy of buying repellant and citronella candles in order to avoid the dreaded bird flu and those itchy little marks they leave behind in exchange for your blood.
12) The shortened hockey season is over, which means we can expect an influx of toothless mesomorphs speaking in hockey cliches on our golf courses and beaches. Don't turn your back - they may still be in crosschecking mode.
13) Linda and the Twins.
Have a wonderful summer.
@ Copyright 2013