That's the trouble with the English language, isn't it? It's too darned ambiguous.

You can hear the words.

You can read the words.

Heck, if you're blind, you can feel the words.

But do you really know what they're saying?

For instance, have you ever been disgruntled? I have bad news for you, if you have: you're still disgruntled. Always will be.

It only takes once, and that's it - you have to remain disgruntled forever.

There is no legitimate means within the English language to restore your gruntle, once it has been removed.

You cannot be regruntled.

Can't be done.

You cannot, no matter how hard you try, no matter how many dictionaries you use or abuse, regain your gruntle.

In fact, the most remarkable thing of it all - supposing, of course, that it was markable the first time - is that, although you must have at some point had a gruntle (no one in the entire English-speaking world, after all, can be ungruntled) there is no such thing as a gruntle in the first place - or even the second.

As a matter of fact, just thinking about it has left me discombobulated.

Oh, my god! (That's OMG for those of you too young to have experienced the language in its initial uninitialed state.)

It has just occurred to me that, like my gruntle - which I lost a long, long time ago - my combobulate is now gone forever, too.

The weak and meagre English language is unable to recombobulate me.

You can discombobulate, you can be discombobulated, and you can spend significant time discombobulating. but you can't get your combobulate back. It's a grammatical impossibility.

It was a former civic politician who twigged me to that whole gruntle thing. Indeed, that's why he now bears the title "former."

He noted that decisions at the council table nearly always disgruntle someone.

And over his term of office he realized that no amount of explanation or attempts at understanding or even one-on-one conversation can restore their gruntles.

Consequently, the overall gruntle in any given community - or any community that hasn't been given, for that matter - diminishes over time.

It's my personal theory that the gruntles of those who are disgruntled pile up on the politicians who have done the disgruntling, and eventually the burden becomes too heavy to bear through an entire re-election campaign, regardless of how strong the politician is.

Speaking of regardless, I don't understand why some people insist on saying "irregardless," which isn't a word, and never think of saying "gardless," which also isn't a word but makes a lot more sense when you think about it (or when somebody else thinks about it. or even when nobody thinks about it at all, which is more often the case - although nobody ever seems interested in explaining to you more often than what).

And speaking of politicians, perhaps more discombobulating than the whole gruntle thing is that you can discuss people, but try to convince the people you cussed that they have now been discussed. not likely you'll have much success there.

In fact, they're likely to be disgusted by the suggestion. which means that now, in addition to having had their gruntle surgically removed, it's going to be a cold, hard wind before they get their gust back.